Joe gets mail!!

So, I make a trip to the mailbox about ten minutes ago, and there's no check for ten million dollars(again!). There IS a rather large envelope in the mailbox. It says "ADDRESSEE SELECTED TO REPRESENT STATE INDICATED IN NATIONWIDE BALLOT ON NEW GOVERNMENT SPENDING PRIORITIES." and "UNVOTED BALLOT MUST BE RETURNED."

"HUH?!?!"

Turns out to the a poll, not a "BALLOT." It also turns out to be from the Heritage Institute, a right-wing, anti-American pretend think-tank, whose purpose is to spread lies in order to damage our country. Sounds harsh, right? Well, let's dig deeper. Let's start with their website: this is the whitest group of people I have ever seen. They have like three Asians, two Hispanics, and the rest is white folks, mostly old ones. OK, granted, that wasn't really digging deep.

Let's look at the website for real. They take credit for all sorts of stuff, like:

• Reagan's tax cuts for the wealthy, which raised taxes on the middle and lower classes while bankrupting the country.
• The "Star Wars" missile defense that started in the 1980s and has produced exactly ZERO missile defense in the quarter century it has been in development.
• "Winning the Cold War" five years after the Soviets tried to surrender on their own, costing America hundreds of billions of dollars in defense spending.
• Attacking social programs, causing poor children to go hungry and old people to die early.
• Encouraging Reagan to support Central American dictators and drug dealers, leading to Iran-Contra.
• Destroying health care reform, leading to the deaths of more Americans
• Injecting religion into government in violation of the First Amendment, while making sure gay people have as few rights as possible.

These are things they BRAG ABOUT. Terrible, terrible people. I would never be friends with any of them, I wouldn't stop to help them if I saw one getting his ass kicked in the street, but I would absolutely piss on one if his head was on fire...

... I would piss on his feet.

Anyhoo, on to the "BALLOT." It isn't a ballot, it is a poll. That's lie number one. Lie number two is that the "BALLOT" must be returned. Really, must be? What if I wipe my ass with it? Are they going to send some teabagger thug to my house to get it? Fuck them!

So I start reading the attached letter. Full of dishonesty. They describe the Earmarks in Obama's budget as 100% "pork" even though earmarks are how the government funds things, and most of them are completely reasonable spending choices. The describe ALL government spending as wasteful... remember, these are the same folks who created the missile defense nonsense that has wasted the sort of money that could have gone towards real health care reform. Instead of admitting mistakes, their letter says that they want to cut programs so that they can spend that money on MORE DEFENSE SPENDING. Also, more tax cuts, even though America has lower taxes than ever before.

Then they go after specific programs that they hate, like "a tattoo removal program in California that cost taxpayers $200,000" that turns out to be a really wonderful program that lets reformed gang members get their gang ink removed so that they can transition from gang life to a more normal and crime-free existence. Yeah, let's attack THAT! Let's also attack the programs that are researching the outrageous toxicity involved in large-scale pig farming that sprays pig shit into the air, tons at a time, by calling it a "swine odor" program.

Morons. Evil, malicious, treasonous morons.

Moving on, let's look at the poll. How many easy lies and hypocricy can I spot in 13 questions?

1. They claim Barack Obama is a liberal.
2. They describe all earmarks as "pork barrel."
3. They go after deficits, after earlier taking credit for running up Reagan's deficit.
4. They want to cap spending now that Democrats are in power.
5. They describe their plans to destroy Social Security and Medicare as "modernizing."

At the end of the "BALLOT," "Question" #13 is a request for money. Wow, really? Why don't they cut out some of their programs, so that they can afford to stay in business without extra revenue? You know, like sending out bullshit polls designed to pretend that their extreme position is a rational and patriotic viewpoint.

They are getting their "BALLOT" back. I wrote "GO TO HELL" on it in giant letters, and put it in the convenient postage-paid envelope. Assholes...