Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Because memes never get boring...
Sunday Stealing: A Fall Meme
It’s not really fall in until... you hit the pavement.
What did you need to do in the waning days of summer for it to feel complete? Kick a puppy.
A person I know was wrong for me but about whom I frequently thought after a break-up was... Bea Arthur
If you could only attend one major sporting event what would it be? The World Underwater Basket-Weaving Championship
Assuming that you write an anonymous or partially anonymous blog, by what non-physically identifying characteristics might you be identified in a bar? I'll be wearing the carcass of a small woodland creature on my head.
Most blogs cover some sort of niche – personal, political, dating, culinary, etc. What topic, if any, would you like to address on your blog but doesn't fit into your niche? Lesbian orthodontists.
If you could manipulate the time space continuum and give as many as three pieces of advice to a younger version of yourself, what advice would you give and to what age of you? Telling myself not to do memes eats up one of those... don't date crazy bitches, and never crack open a second bottle of Scotch if you're drinking alone. Good advice at any age.
Who among your friends do you really wish had a blog because their stories, or perspective on something ought to be shared? My cat Randall. Maybe he can type in English better than he speaks it.
If you were to take an e-cation (vacation from the trappings of our electronic world,) and assuming that employment obligations would allow it, how long of a break could you take? What would you miss the most, the least? Ummm... I carry my iPod Touch to the crapper with me.
On September 11th of this year, I attended a couple of parties and was somewhat conflicted by the fact that this ignoble anniversary shall pass with it being just another day in the eyes of many (and in some ways my own eyes as well.) Thoughts? You are one of the most idiotic and self-centered persons on Earth... and this answer isn't a joke. The terrorist attacks weren't about you, and the fact that you and a bunch of other egotistical assholes made it about yourselves, even though you weren't directly physically affected by it, is just fucking pathetic.
How high are your walls? Who was the last person to scale them? What tools should would-be climbers have on their belt? 5895 meters/Ludwig Purtscheller and Hans Meyer/Cheeze Whiz
The sexiest thing a man or a woman can say to you (or has said to you) is: I'm paying.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Just some stuff... some good, some bad, some angry, maybe some funny...
- Soup cures all sorts of stuff. I made some homemade lentil soup for lunch, and it has improved my mood, cleared my sinuses, and settled down the buzzy nauseous feeling I had from the 20oz caramel frappe I had for breakfast. I usually drink decaf tea sweetened with Splenda, so a giant caffeinated and sugary hell in a cup hits me like meth.
- My birthday is next week, and I scored a fancy watch, a couple of books, a laptop, and some video games. My wife got a set of dishes and an iPod Nano for my birthday. The dog and cats got new food bowls that match out new dishes, and the cats also got a bed to share. I probably don't need anything for Xmas.
- I'm generally anti-bootleg these days, but my wife has a bootleg of District 9... I don't think I can watch it without being a hypocrite.
- People fucking suck. I'm driving to the gas station this morning, and a car sort of slides in front of me without signaling, drives a half-mile at about 15 miles per hour, and then sort of slides off the road again without signaling... and by "off the road" I mean their passenger side tires in the grass, and most of their car blocking my lane. If I had been in Gray Thunder I would have probably hit them, but I was driving the Mustang and I just couldn't do it.
- Had a weird sort of moment earlier in the week at school. Some punk asshole tried to be a smartass in my direction. I had a flash of anger, and a willingness to open my mouth and say things to him that might have led to a fight. Then I realized that he's a teenager, a child, and my flash of anger went away, replaced with amusement. I said something about him keeping his comments among the other children, and keep his mouth shut when talking to the grown-ups, and that got him pretty quiet pretty quickly. Good times, being an adult.
- Getting back to the soup, there's something deeply offensive about the idea of people not being able to cook for themselves. Lentil soup is lentils, water, chicken broth, salt and pepper, and a can of diced tomatoes. You boil it, then you simmer it, then you eat it. You can salt and pepper a whole chicken, chop up some veggies, and stick it in the oven for a couple of hours and it is the best thing you ever tasted. Just about every super-delicious thing I cook for meals can be reduced to a couple of ingredients and some heat. People who say they can't cook are either lying, lazy, and/or fucking shitty human beings who aren't worth knowing.
- Speaking of people not worth knowing: Republicans.
- My office is messy. That's a sign of my mind being all screwed up and disorganized. It would take 15-20 minutes to clean up, but I can't seem to focus for that long. It makes reading a book, watching a movie, or playing a game sort of difficult. It makes being lazy REALLY EASY!
- Build Your Own Kitty City is the coolest thing ever. It is like a hamster Habitrail, except for cats. Every payday, I go down to Target and buy another component, and attach it to the previous ones. There are scratching posts on it, places to sleep and hide and climb and stuff. My cats are sleeping in it right now, and it is so cute!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Speaking of stuff, my wife got her new plates and stuff... minus the stuff they forgot to send. Hopefully they'll finish the order some time soon. I took a picture. As you can see, the stuff we got is more than enough for one day (and that's not counting the matching glasses and gadget crock. Take a look:
Not so bad of a score... and that's not including the very special surprise she got!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
28. Do you look like your mom or dad? Yeah, I've got my dad's eyes and my mom's facial hair.
29. How long does it take you in the shower? Probably too long, since I'm actually posting this from the shower.
30. Can you do the splits? Yep. Also the beat-its and the scrams.
31. What movie do you want to see right now? "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying: The Motion Picture"
32. What did you do for New Year’s? Went on a wild calendar shopping spree.
33. Do you think The Grudge was scary? I sat through the most horrifying hour in the movies I had ever seen... and then I realized that "The Grudge" was one screen over, and I was actually watching "Surviving Christmas" starring Ben Affleck.
34. Do you own a camera phone? Yeah, but it has a weird bug in it, the only thing it will take pictures of is other camera phones.
35. Was your mom a cheerleader? Yes, but she had to give it up when she she discovered that she had super healing projects, and her father was really an agent hunting down other "special" people.
36. What’s the last letter of your middle name? $
37. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? 107
38. Do you like Care Bears? It depends on how you cook them.
39. What do you buy at the movies? Crack cocaine. My dealer is Roger Ebert.
40. Do you know how to play poker? Poker? I hardly know her!
41. Do you wear your seat belt? Only on formal occasions.
42. What do you wear to sleep? My seat belt.
43. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? Yes.
44. How many meals do you eat a day? 2.1
45. Is your tongue pierced? Unfortunately, I suffer from a rare disease that makes me allergic to douchebag behavior like tongue piercings, tattoos on my hands, and voting Republican.
46. Do you always read MySpace bulletins? I always DON'T read MySpace bulletins. Sometimes I save a bunch of them up, and don't read them all at once.
47. Do you like funny or serious people better? Again, depends on how you cook them.
48. Ever been to L.A.? Just the once. There was a riot, I got a TV and some stereo equipment, but I haven't been back since.
49. Did you eat a cookie today? Yep, I had an oatmeal-Care Bear-serious people cookie.
50. Do you use cuss words in other languages? Fuck no!
51. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I trade them for chickens, and pick of the litter.
52. Do you hate chocolate? One time that motherfucker spent a weekend at my house, drank all of my Scotch, and left without flushing the toilet. Yes I hate chocolate, and if you see him you tell him I'm looking for him!
53. What do you and your parents fight about the most? The covers.
54. Are you a gullible person? Are you?
55. Do you need a girlfriend to be happy? Yes, but I need to not have a girlfriend to keep my wife from ripping my nuts off. I need my nuts more.
56. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what what would it be? Quantity surveyor
57. Are you easy to get along with? Obviously.
58. What is your favorite time of day? Any one of the fourteen times I take a dump. Those oatmeal-Care Bear-serious people cookies go right through me.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
So, Monday morning was lousy, and stretched into the afternoon with crap piled on crap.
Also, I got my birthday present a little early...
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Come play the meme thingy here.
1. The phone rings. Who will it to be? Your mom. She wants me to bring the handcuffs next time.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? No, I take it home with me. I'm building a giant cart-robot sculpture in the back yard.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? I'm a talker... except when I'm listening, and even then I'm talking.
4. Do you take compliments well? I actually shoplift compliments on occasion, and I've never been arrested for it. Does that count?
5. Do you play Sudoku? I don't even know Sue, why would I doku her?
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Yes, right up until the moment I died.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Just once. Turns out I'm allergic to fresh air and kayaks.
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? Hide the poop.
9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she was married, would you? Yes, I would... you did mean "kill her, skin her, and sautee her in a red wine sauce" right?
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? I could, but I don't think my wife would appreciate it.
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I prefer the stalker role, as the restraining orders clearly spell out.
12. Use three words to describe yourself? Alive with flavor.
13. Do any songs make you cry? Depends on how heavy it is if I drop it on my foot.
14. Are you continuing your education? No, I decided to stop learning things when I was 11. I saw a copy of that book "All I Ever Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten" and realized that I had just wasted 6 years on further education.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? I respectfully decline to answer that question on advice of counsel
16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? I looked into it once, but there wasn't anything in the photo booth worth taking pictures of. You'd think they'd at least put a vase and some flowers in there.
17. How often do you read books? What, all of them?
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Yes.
19. What is your favorite children’s book? "Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying."
20.What color are your eyes? Plaid.
21. How tall are you? Not as tall as I would like to be. My feet don't quite reach the ground.
22. Where is your dream house located? Is "in a dream" a location?
23. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? I'll grab my socks, right after I drop my cock.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? I can't recall, every time feels like the last time.
25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? To my dream house, in Dream Land.
26. Do you like mustard? What the hell kind of personal question is that?!?! I don't come to your house and inquire about condiments, do I?!?!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Look, I'm a big fan of toys and cartoons and comic books and all manner of things that I've had with me since childhood. I love movies too. So, when you combine them I'm usually all happy about it. I loved the recent Batman movies, Iron Man, even The Incredible Hulk and Superman Returns. I liked the first Transformers movie, and I'm sort of looking forward to catching G.I. Joe when it comes out on Blu-ray.
Impressive, right? His enemy is Skeletor, a ridiculously muscled guy with a skull for a face. Also possibly gay.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
1. When you go to Wowmart, what one thing do you get every single time, besides a funky-wheeled squeaking cart full of frustration?
2. What is something that people are currently “into” that you just don’t get or appreciate?
Twitter, Facebook, whatever music the young people listen to.
3. What is something that really hoists your sail that other people might feel “ho-hum” about?
Low-budget horror movies.
4. Favorite song to sing in the shower or car?
If I'm singing, it is something I made up on the spot, and includes profanity and racial slurs.
5. A really great salad must have this ingredient:
Bacon. Everything tastes better with bacon!
6. What advice in a nutshell would you give to new bloggers?
Read my blog!
7. What was the alternate name that your parents almost named you? Do you wish they had chosen it instead of the one they gave you?
I think my parents got it right the first time.
8. What in your life are you waiting for?
Money for a new laptop.
9. You get a package in the mail. What is it, and who is it from?
My Dad sometimes sends me weird packages with comic books and hot sauces.
10. Today–what song represents you?
Fucking Hostile by Pantera
11. What is one thing that blogging has taught you about yourself?
That some things are better left private, and my need for privacy is even stronger than I thought.
12. How are you going to (or how did you) choose the clothes you’re wearing today?
I'm still wearing what I was wearing last night.
What do they say about you in general or specifically how you’re feeling today?
It says that it is Sunday, and I haven't gone for a walk yet. I haven't even put on pants yet!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
- Yes, I'm IN school. I attend all of my classes in person, for 6 straight hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm lucky in that my first two classes are in the same classroom, so I can just sit there fore three hours and not have to look for parking. Yay?
- My Lit teacher is very vague as to what the assignments actually require. For instance, we have a 10-page "reading journal" due at the end of the semester. There's no hint as to what format this "journal" is supposed to take. There's also an oral report due at some undetermined date, but there's no information on it at all besides a length. And, from my experience with this professor, asking questions won't help. She will likely say something like "do it in an informative way." It almost seems like you can do ANYTHING and get an "A" but I feel like I should do the oral report this weekend, and see if it meets her requirements. Otherwise, I could do it right before it is due and then find out that it is wrong.