Can't I get a visit from the Prize Patrol instead?

NO!

Monday I get a visit from the landlord, and Friday I get a visit from... THE COPS!! Three of them, all sort of hands on guns and in tactical positions around my front door. Looking for someone, but not me thank Satan. About a minute after I shut the door, three MORE police cars drive by my house, one after another after another.

Someone's in pretty deep shit. I'm glad it isn't me.

Funny thing though... I had my gun on my hip, and they didn't say a word. :)